We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the day after is always just damage control
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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