My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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