he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
