Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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