Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
