It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
