just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
