he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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