... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
