apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
