I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
A+ Viking dick
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