he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
