She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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