you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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