i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
