I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
