I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
