i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
