thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
