and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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