see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
