Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
