went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
