Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
