I'm laying in your front yard are you home
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
