At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
