oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
