So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
