yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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