nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
