he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
