what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
