nut hugger
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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