She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize