Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
