Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
