Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
All I want is dick and wine.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
