I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
