She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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