I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
