Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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