I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
