In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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