the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
