the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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