jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
