well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
