i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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