Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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