why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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