Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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