I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
