All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
