what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think your dad took our porno
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
