Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
