im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
