whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
