So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
