I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she told me i tasted like america
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize