ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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