This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
