I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
