I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
