ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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