We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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