At least make sure they are 18
Why
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
