sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
