Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
