So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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