Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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