Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
foreskin is a definite game changer
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
