you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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