Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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