I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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