I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In other news, I just burned my penis
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
