first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize