i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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