Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
